Happenings

Rehab Reality. Not always what it appears to be.

Drug and Alcohol rehab conjures different visions for everyone. Those who have been to other rehabs are amazed when they come to Bayshore. Amazed that we have so few clients, amazed that we really do look like we do on the internet, amazed that we treat them like ‘regular people’ instead of children or like they’re criminals.

I recently had a call from a young woman who went to The Oasis in Ft. Lauderdale. She was upset that it wasn’t at all as expected… even the building that she saw on the internet wasn’t there. And as for counseling – she would have 12 step meetings, and maybe see a counselor once during the month she was to be there.  Unfortunately this is all too common. We’ve had that experience and heard it from many of our clients who have been to rehab before. Of course, from the parent’s point of view: “you went to rehab, it didn’t work – why should I pay for you to go to some kind of resort?”

Bayshore isn’t a resort (well compared to most it is)… but it’s really about work and counseling and more work and more counseling. Don’t blame us if we think environment is important also. Healing is a part of everything we do.

Many times our best clients are those who have been to other rehabs. They know the difference and embrace everything we do. Some don’t need previous experience to know that they want and need to change.  Fortunately, we’ve had more clients who have that attitude than those who really don’t want to change. For the ones who don’t, I really wish they’d had other rehab experiences so they would know the difference. by Judy (the mom)

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We’re Redefining Rehab…  how long will it take for society to understand?

I recently had a conversation with a lady who has an addiction to pain medicine. After numerous attempts to resolve her physical problem, doctors were finally able to correct it with surgery. Meanwhile she’s become addicted to the medications and is embarrassed to admit she has a problem. She said the pain is gone, but she can’t function without the prescriptions. She’s tried repeatedly, but can’t seem to “beat the habit”. Otherwise a perfect mother, wife and employee she now deals with “needing the medication”,  the secrecy and her self-esteem. After we talked, she now understands that it’s not her fault. It’s not something that she did intentionally.  It’s something that happens with drugs. Once the body and mind gets accustomed to having it, there’s no letting go without help.

Interesting that we can understand someone seeking help with cancer, yet if the same person said he or she was having a problem with drugs or alcohol addiction, we would take a different attitude. Some would say it’s not the same – cancer can kill…. so do drugs and alcohol. Likewise, not only do drugs and alcohol kill the person using it, but also it’s risk for others. Think of the number of deaths as a result of drunken drivers. Today our problem isn’t only illegal drugs, it’s prescription drugs, it’s alcohol and it’s an attitude about these mind altering substances that needs to change. At Bayshore, our clients get real help. The full body detox and health regime are a big part of what we do. Added to that, counseling and life coaching and our clients are able to beat the addiction. The transformation from the day they arrive until the end of their stay is remarkable.   by Judy (the mom)

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Amazing how it works out… one would think that having only six clients could be a problem. And it is… we don’t have hundreds beds with clients going and coming.

But somehow we have just the right people at the right time. The right time for us, and right time for them. I was recently asked if we had a ‘waiting list’? “A WAITING LIST FOR REHAB”?.  Is there really such a thing? Does that mean a person decides he/she is gonna get clean next month… or give up alcohol in after Labor Day… REALLY?????

My experience, is that we’re not a hotel that can book people ahead – when the time is right we need to be able to accommodate. This can be stressful, but for some unknown reason we always seem to have the availability. When I think of places like The Watershed, Twelve Oaks, The Friary, Bradford, Narconon, Passages, The Palms,  or the thousands of other rehab facilities out there, I wonder how can they possibly keep up with each client and ensure that that client gets the best possible treatment. My answer – they can’t. This has been proven time and again with clients who have been to those facilities and then to Bayshore.

Everyone is unique, their life experiences from birth are different, as are their motivations and dreams. Our goal at Bayshore is to help each client get healthy in mind, body and spirit.  It’s been said that once drug addiction begins, the brain stops. The person stops thinking rationally and the focus is directed to the addiction. Even ‘functioning addicts’ may seem to be functioning, but imagine how much more capable this person would be without the addiction consuming a portion of the thought process. We don’t have all the answers, but we work hard to find them from the time a client arrives until their last day. Our focus is on helping six people at a time resolve his or her addiction in a positive and progressive way, and to have a plan for a better future.    by Judy (the mom)

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Summer can be brutal for Addicts. Unfortunately many think that Addiction to One Substance is the Problem, so avoid that and you’re OK to celebrate.

With that thought comes the well-meaning family and friends who think that because one has been to rehab that all’s well. Life can now go on as usual. Those of us who have been through rehab, whether it’s at Bayshore Retreat or some other drug rehab should know better. Think of the things you pack when going to be beach or planning a cook-out. Alcohol is always there. And alcohol addiction might not be the problem, but it can quickly become the problem. The addictive personality cannot have just one and sip it slowly. Face it. The person who tries to deceive himself into thinking that he’s normal and can control his behavior is actually powerless over all mind-altering drugs. He may try to convince himself that while he shouldn’t drink hard liquor, it’s ok to have a beer every now and then.

The mind is remarkable in how it creates self-deception. We can keep ourselves from seeing the truth about ourselves and our behavior in many different ways. The technical term for this type of mental defense mechanism is compartmentalization. When we compartmentalize a problem, we keep it isolated from relevant issues. In this instance we compartmentalize our drug or alcohol problem. “An ace up our sleeve” in case the going gets tough and we need something to help us cope or ‘fit in’. We need to share this secret and be open with those around us. It doesn’t mean we’re strange – it means we know our limits and are strong enough to handle them. The ironic thing is once you reach this comfort level of control you can actually have more fun listening to and seeing those around you say and do stupid things. It can be very entertaining to have your wits about yourself, while others don’t. Also, you may be the one who is needed to save a life during desperate situations created by lose of control by others. So enjoy the summer – stay in control, safe and sober.

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St. Patrick’s Day and No Green Beer?  Really?  by Jeff

One of the biggest concerns that we hear from clients is since alcohol is everywhere, how are they supposed to avoid it when they get home.

“Where do you expect me to eat?  Just at Cracker Barrel or Waffle House?”

As tasty as these two places might be, that is not very practical and probably not very healthy.

So what’s the answer?  As with most questions dealing with choices, the best solution or plan for each person lies within each person.  Through counseling, introspection and the camaraderie that forms between only six clients, each individual will develop the plan that works best for him or her.

Well, tonight I threw myself straight into the proverbial fire.  Normally, any of tonight’s circumstances would give me pause on their own.  Well, combined they made a perfect storm.  Here is what was going on:

• St. Patrick’s Day
• Spring Break
• Saturday Night with good friends from out of town
• JoJo from Widespread Panic playing at one of my old “playgrounds”
• Locals celebrating the arrival of “season”

I’d be lying to myself and you if I said that I wasn’t nervous or apprehensive about going out tonight.  For me, a little apprehension is healthy.  Complacency and false confidence are my enemies.  The times I am most comfortable or cocky are usually the times when the opportunity to relapse is either most appealing or so sneaky that I never see them coming.

So the outcome of tonight was that all of these “reasons” to use became the mitigating factors of why I didn’t.  I still had fun.  The music was still great.  The ladies were still dancing. The bathroom was a little dirtier than I remember.  My bar tab consisted of a Red Bull, not shots and vodka drinks.  I didn’t have to pay for a cab ride home.  I will wake up refreshed in my own bed remembering the whole night.  It was a great evening and now I will actually have memories.

Hang in there!  Being sober doesn’t have to suck!

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Score 98!!!!!  Congratulations to Megan, Jeff and Team Bayshore!  by Judy (the mom)

Saturday, Feb. 11, 2012

At Bayshore Retreat we just had our annual inspection from the Florida Department of Children & Family Services. Our score was 98… bragging rights, for sure. You may compare this to a score on an exam that takes two days to complete. One, where every little detail is examined.  Imagine taking an Operation’s Manual of more than 500 pages and going through it page by page, then checking every employee  and client file for details and services, plus other licenses, building, etc. … all of this is examined and the best possible score is 100 – we scored 98.

To you the person who’s looking for a quality rehab, it means that we’re following the rules to ensure that our clients receive the treatment prescribed by the law. Of course, we know that, but it’s always nice to see that others recognize it. Especially when it’s the governing body which controls the licensing of such a business. To the person who’s investing his/her time and money into rehabilitation, it’s important to know that you’re doing so with a rehab facility that meets those standards to the highest degree possible.

Our results speak for the care we give, not just the score, but the clients – that’s the important part.

Check out our Testimonials page for client comments.

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Bang Bang Therapy by Jeff

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Today’s weather reminds me why I live, work and play in Northwest Florida.  Temperatures in the high 60s and cloudless skies practically scream that the outdoors be enjoyed.

Days like this usually mean a trip to the gun range.

Frequently, I am asked, “Why in the world do you take clients to the gun range?  Isn’t that dangerous?”  My reply is usually, “Yes, and that is exactly why we go.”

Well, the logic behind these excursions is pretty sound once the initial shock wears off.

As addicts, we get used to behavior that has three recognizable traits;  it’s destructive, it’s deadly and it exacts a high cost.  Firing semiautomatic weapons at paper targets in a regulated and safe environment, believe it or not, addresses each of these traits.

                1.    Addiction is destructive.  Everyone’s life touched directly or even indirectly by addiction is irrevocably changed.  No one will deny this. High-powered rifle and pistol rounds tear up paper targets quite well also.

               2.    That there are only three inevitable results of addiction – jail, rehab or death – is a widely accepted fact.  As we are a rehab and don’t want our clients in jail or dead, we go to the gun range.  You must be sober when handling firearms.

                3.    The price of addiction is incalculable when everything is factored.  However, even if just the actual cost of the alcohol and/or drugs is tallied, the number quite often surprises the addict more than the loved ones.  Clients usually appear shocked also when they realize how much a trip to the gun range costs.  They are gently reminded that their addiction cost them and their loved ones a whole lot more.

Finally, an added bonus of these trip is the aggression release.  I never ask who or what the clients visualize as their targets.  I only know that every ride back to Bayshore is characterized by lots of laughter, big smiles and, hopefully, some beginnings of inner peace.